Episode 1

Design Your Dream Life

In this episode, Laura gives insight on the disconnect between the life you're living now and the life you want to live.

Transcript
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Hello folks, I am so happy to be here.

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Today I want to talk about

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designing your dream life

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and how to go about turning

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that dream into a reality.

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With my clients,

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I see a huge disconnect

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between the lives that

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they're living now and the

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lives that they're hoping

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to create for themselves.

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This tends to turn into some

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unrealized goals and

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unachieved New Year's resolutions or

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For some people,

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those eventually turn into

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negative self-talk,

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resulting in phrases like,

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I never complete my goals,

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or I never keep promises to myself.

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Phrases like this can really

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eat at your confidence and

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make it really hard to move

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forward in achieving the

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confidence you need to

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manifest your dream life.

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There are multiple paths to

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creating your dream life,

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but today I'm just gonna share one path,

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which is future casting and

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backward design.

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You may be wondering,

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what the heck are these?

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Let's start with future casting.

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Businesses tend to use this

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idea to think about or

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predict trends in the future.

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When they think about these future trends,

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they can better create products,

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update their services,

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plan monetarily for good and bad omens,

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Okay, so that's future casting.

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And I'll tie that to life

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design in a moment.

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Let's address backward design now.

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You can find examples of

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backward design in

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engineering and education.

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Engineers have to see the

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big picture of what a

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project will look like in

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its completion and what's

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needed to make all those things happen.

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So they look at a final

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product and they develop a

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plan with the end in mind.

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Educators have to do the same thing.

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They have standards that all

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students must achieve.

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So a lot of teachers design

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their units backward from

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the goal to the first activity.

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Again, designing with the end in mind.

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So how in the heck would we

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apply this to life design?

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Well,

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future casting for your life is the

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idea of thinking about your

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future and your future self.

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backward design is then

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taking that future life and

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future self and designing

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backward to the point you

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are currently living.

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Okay,

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so how in the heck are we supposed to

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do this?

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If you're driving, by the way,

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you'll want to come back to

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this episode later and do this activity.

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If you are in a space to do so,

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pause now and go get a pen

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and paper to take notes.

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Or you can head over to my

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blog and read a set of

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detailed instructions on how to do this.

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Let's move on to the first step.

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Step one,

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write about the person you wanna

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be and the vision of the

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dream life you want to live.

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Again,

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write about the person you want to

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be and the vision of the

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dream life you want to live.

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So think about the life you

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wanna create for yourself.

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You're gonna do this in first person,

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by the way,

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and you're gonna do it in

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present tense as if you are

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already living this life.

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Describe in detail your

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vision for this dream life.

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How does it feel?

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How do you feel?

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What is your home like?

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Describe your career and how

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you feel about it.

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By the way,

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I have a freebie for you if you

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want some additional

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questions to help you think

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about what you can add in this journal.

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So now the journal itself

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should take some time.

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Depending on how much

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thought you put into it,

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you could take 20 minutes

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to write or you could

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actually take several days

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to really sit down with

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what you've written.

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Some of you may want to

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write and then step away

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from it for 24 hours so you

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can come back to it later

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with fresh eyes.

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Again,

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this should be written in first

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person and it should be

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written in present tense.

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Remember,

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this version of you already has

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everything you want right now.

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Okay, so let's move on to step two.

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Once you're finished with your journal,

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the next step is

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brainstorming the answers

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to three specific questions.

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Question one,

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what are the habits of this future me?

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Write down as many habits

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this version of you has in

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order to achieve this amazing life.

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Question two,

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what do I need to start doing

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today to create the habits

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of this person living my

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dream life and what

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behaviors will get me there?

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You'll notice that some,

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if not all of the habits

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you wrote down in question

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one are the habits that you

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have not mastered yet.

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For this question,

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you're going to want to

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brainstorm all the things

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that you need to start

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doing today to practice and

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master these habits.

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And then question three,

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what actions do I need to

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take to move forward in

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this life to get to my dream life?

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Some of these actions may

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relate to your answer to

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your answers in question two.

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But think of this question

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as more of a to do list.

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If part of your dream life

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is owning your first business,

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write down all the things

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that you know are

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about making this happen and

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all the things you need to

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research about making this happen.

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This might include

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researching how to get a business license,

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trademark, tax information,

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marketing strategies.

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From here,

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you're going to start organizing

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your list by priority, breaking it down,

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breaking down like really,

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really large steps into smaller,

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much more manageable steps.

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And then in step three,

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So we went through those three questions.

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But then in step three,

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you now know all the things

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that are needed to reach your goal,

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your desired life.

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Start putting those answers

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from step two into motion

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and begin designing your

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life backward with all the skills,

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behaviors, habits,

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and thoughts that you need.

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Here's an example of how I

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did this for myself.

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If you've been around me for a while,

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you know that I was a

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teacher for 25 years.

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I wanted to quit teaching so badly,

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but it took me 10 years to

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finally leave the profession.

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I'll deal with that story in

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another podcast.

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Before I left teaching,

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I started my coaching

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business thinking I could

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start getting clients and

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get my program created on

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the side while I was still

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earning an income.

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Once the school year was over,

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I was free to work on my

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coaching full time,

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but I couldn't seem to get any traction.

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And it wasn't until I did

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this activity for myself

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that I realized I had not

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really stepped into the role of coach.

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I was still living life and

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making decisions as if I

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was a teacher with a

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coaching side hustle.

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This realization was such a

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hard pill to swallow.

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This may look different for

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all of you when you do this work,

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but here are a few things

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that I learned about myself

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from this exercise.

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By the way,

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this is not the end-all be-all list.

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You may have some things

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that are different.

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I certainly had more than these,

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but these were five of my top takeaways.

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One of the things I learned,

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I did not fully devote

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myself to coaching because

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I didn't see myself as a

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confidence coach yet.

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The second,

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I wasn't behaving like the CEO

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of a business.

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Third, because coaching was a side hustle,

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I wasn't showing up

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consistently every day.

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I was really inconsistent.

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The fourth,

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I hadn't developed a lot of

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habits and behaviors my

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future life required to

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actually be achievable.

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And the final one,

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I would use the excuse of

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my full-time job to explain

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why I wasn't working so

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hard on my coaching business.

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I was full of excuses.

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That's all there is to it.

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Once I realized that's what I was doing,

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it really was a lot easier

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to figure out what I needed

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to do to actually step into

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my future self,

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to step into that role and say,

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I'm a confidence coach.

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By designing with that end in mind,

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I was able to see the whole picture.

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Before, I was just doing the basics.

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I told myself, okay,

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I want to be a life coach.

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I guess the first thing I

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need to do is get certified.

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Then I'll open up a business.

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It went like this for a long

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time where I would just do

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what seemed like the logical next step.

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If I'd started with the end in mind,

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oh my gosh,

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I would have figured out what

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my thoughts needed to be,

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what programs I eventually

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wanted to develop,

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how I could best serve my clients,

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possible products to help

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me reach my goals, and so much more.

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This all would have helped

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me create a much more linear process.

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Instead,

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I spent a lot of time throwing

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spaghetti at the wall,

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hoping something would stick.

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I would try to figure out

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email marketing only to

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find I hadn't completed two

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other steps first.

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It was a lot of wasted time

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and energy and frustration.

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After doing this exercise,

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I started putting into

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practice the habits, behaviors, actions,

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and thoughts of my future

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self and started actually living as her.

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I'm no longer pretending

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that person is down the

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road and she'll like

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magically manifest herself.

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If you have these really, really big,

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awesome dreams that you wanna go after,

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folks, you cannot play small like I did.

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You have to really think

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about the kind of person

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you need to be in order to

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achieve these dreams.

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And there's gotta be some

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timeframe to that too, right?

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I sat there for 10 years and told myself,

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I really, really wanna leave teaching.

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But in those 10 years,

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I didn't live as the person

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who planned to leave teaching.

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I want to show you how you

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can start designing and

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stepping into the life that you want.

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This is just one of the many

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skills I teach you and

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thrive my coaching program.

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So let's recap.

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Step one,

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you got to take some time to

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reflect on the life that you really want.

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Get super, super, super clear on that.

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Super clear.

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The second step is

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brainstorming the answers

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to those three questions.

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Remember that first question,

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what are the habits of this future you?

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Second question,

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what did I need to start

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doing today to create the

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habits of this person

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living my dream life and

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what behaviors will get me there?

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And the third,

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what actions do I need to

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take in order to move

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forward in this life to get

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to my dream life?

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And then, of course, step three,

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which is starting to

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actually design your life

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with the end in mind.

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Is it going to happen overnight?

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Of course not.

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But your dream life will be

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achieved so much faster if

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you know exactly what to do to get there.

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All right, my friends,

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I hope that everything I've

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talked about today has been

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incredibly helpful to you.

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Have an amazing day.

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Thank you so, so, so much for tuning in.

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Don't forget, if you want that freebie,

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you can head over to my

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website and it'll give you

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additional questions for

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figuring out kind of what

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your dream life is.

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If you found this episode helpful,

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please subscribe and share

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this podcast with a friend.

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Have an amazing day and I

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hope to see you soon.

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Confidence Unbound
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About your host

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Laura Anderson

I’m your host Laura Anderson, former teacher turned entrepreneur. It wasn’t that long ago that I lacked the confidence to leave my 25 year career in education and make the decision to follow my dreams of owning my own coaching business. Now I still get to help people, but I’m doing it on my own terms.